35th requested review is of digitalwoe.com
(I think I'm in love -OR- this is really good!)

Rating out of 10: 10 (my first ever 10 rating!)

layout etc:(2: 2)
The only thing about the layout that bugs me is the picture at the top is not even with the table below. But it's so damn close that nobody else will probably notice. I only did because we all know, I have a critical eye. That's why I do this job so well.

The picture is nice and everything on the diary is easy to locate; there's no hidden surprises.

I really like how the front page is a list of her most recent entries with links to them. Not too new, but nifty idea.

She should really put previous and next links at the top as well. Something small in the corners would do.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 2)
I couldn't find any.

Unique: (2: 2)
There are a few things. She deserves 3 points.

She has links on the bottom of some entries to an entry made on the same date in a previous year. That is so cool.

Her pictures are separated into categories. Very nice.

When you choose a link at the right and it takes you to the right page, the links (at the right) in that subheading change to a new color for easy viewing, PLUS the picture at the top changes in color too. This is so neat, it works well and looks great. I can't say enough.

One more unique thing is you can translate her page into other languages. How cool is that??

You can tell she has been doing this a while, and knows what she's doing.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
"Right around the same place in Louisiana, traffic completely stopped. Luckily we had the CB radio with us and found out from the truck drivers the backup was because some fool decided it would be a good idea to paint the bridge crossing the Mississippi on a holiday weekend. All the equipment was out and there was only one lane open. Traffic was backed up over 10 miles. We started hitting the traffic around 4:30 and didn't get across the river until 6:30. Another two hours wasted."

"I'm sitting here at work, bored as a fudge pop and I'm trying to think up of something interesting to do. Except that I have nothing interesting to do."

"We decided it was time to leave the restaurant, but not before I hopped into the bathroom for a potty break. We met outside at the swings and sat there talking and occassionally rocking the swing back and forth, having a good old time. We ended up cuddling again and even shared an embrace."

She says potty too!!

Would I go back for another read? (2: 2)
Yes, yes I would. I liked it a lot. I can't explain it. There were no sex stories that I found yet; it's not her compelling hobbies or lifestyle situations. I just like it. I want to read it all.

posted by Eli Moose on Friday, November 30, 2001

My most vocal critic, "young and healthy", has accused me of being the person behind a number of obcene or malicious posts at bitchfest. I have never posted anonymously to bitchfest, nor anywhere else for that matter. When I write something, I sign my name, unlike "young and healthy", who continues to snipe at me from behind the protection of the anonymity of message boards.
posted by Eli Moose on Thursday, November 29, 2001

A side note to Valerie of the guestbook: I realize the previous:next link bugs are the problem of diaryland, but it's annoying none the less. Some people actually write all their own html, unlike diaryland diarists. That said, I also will keep that in mind when looking at diaryland diaries in the future. Thanks for the advice.

35th requested review is of the awakening
Rating out of 10: 5

layout etc: (2: 1)
The picture of the old man and woman in the center of the page is very cute. I like it. Yet I have to ask, what is it exactly you are trying to draw attention to? Your links and rings or your diary? The reason I ask this is because the top half of the page, and the first thing your viewer sees is not your entry. I think this is a big mistake. Change it to where the reader doesn't have to scroll down to see the beginning of your entry and it will be better. I prefer diaries where the writing is the main focus of the page.

I think I liked the previous design better.

Bravo for previous and next links at the top of your entry and the bottom!

Maybe that's just a bit too many links to other diaries on the side don't you think? Couldn't you just put those on a different page and unclutter the entry pages?

I hate password protected entries. HATE them.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
I was doing this and link, said link, and then link, link, link.

She writes more about other people than she does herself. And it is annoying to me.

It's really anal that I find this annoying, but the links on the archive page don't line up properly. I know, shoot me.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
"Our sophomore year, the day before class portraits, Anderson had jokingly commented how he was going to take his school picture with his finger pointing to the right, and Atkins was going to do the same thing, but pointing to the left, so when our school yearbooks came out, both of them would be pointing at me. I was mortified that they would actually do it, so I spent the entire next day worrying that they would follow through on their threat. Of course, they were only joking, and we all had a good laugh about it."

Would this mortify you?

"No, really, I've gotten really used to sitting on my ass all day in a cushy, comfy, ergonomic chair. It was definitely a perk of my last job. The last time I stood for 8 hours, I was 17 years old an a Cashier at Wal-Mart."

At least someone can relate to that.

"for some reason, i'm feeling very sorry for myself. i told my mom that i don't think i will live to be 30. it's a terrible thing to say to your mother, but i feel it, and it scares me. i want to live. i want to get up, say hello to the sun, sing in the shower. i want to drive with the windows rolled down, music blaring, with a smile on my face. i have a large appreciation for this wonderful world, for the beauty of the earth, and for all of God's blessings...yet i'm miserable."

she thinks and writes about death a lot.

Unique: (2: 0)
Sorry, not really.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
This is a hard one. This diary has lots of archives. But as I was travelling through I didn't find anything that completely grabbed me. I think I'm the pickiest person alive.

posted by Eli Moose on Thursday, November 29, 2001

34th requested review is of McDude's Diary
Rating out of 10: 7

layout etc: (2: 1)
This is not all that great, but it did make me laugh. And laughing accounts for something.

I've seen worse than this one though, so he gets brownie points. Plus he has previous:next links at the top and the bottom, as you may have noticed help with the navigation.

The pictures at the right he is using for links are funny.

The green is a bit much on the eyes. I understand the need for a guy to not look girly though. I suggest going to a site like this one, the color cube,
and find some colors that work better together. The link colors need to be changed as well. Right now they are set as the default ones, and those are just hideous.
(See I do give advice, sometimes)

Annoying writing habits: (2: 2)
I didn't see any to record. I think that's odd, but it can and does happen.

Unique: (2: 1)
Interesting display of pictures.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
"What kinds of jobs do not have deadlines? I don’t think Prostitutes have deadlines. All the pope has to do is sit around and be moral. Prostitutes don’t have a deadline for their objective. I am sure most of the customers would prefer the service to last as long as possible. Unless you are paying by the hour then the prostitute will try to make it last as long as possible. No ‘Big Difference’ between the pope and a prostitute."

I think the Pope deserves a capital letter more than say prostitutes?

"As I insert my dollar a classroom acquaintance starts chit chat. This fucks me up because I hit the fucking Diet Mt. Dew button. At least it still has Caffeine. It keeps the sleep beast at bay so I can concentrate on the functionality of the pricing system."

Descriptive.

"Today I found myself fantasizing about the ultimate stress relief. I was wishing for sleep. I did not crash until really late last night. Today was dragging so much in the afternoon that I found myself fantasizing about laying in my bed. Stretching my legs, arching my back, and having the final yawn before my eyes close. I wonder how many fantasies I have had in my life that did not involve naked women."

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
If I had the time I would. I think he has a good writing style and is easy to read. He just needs a little formatting help and maybe a girl's design touch without looking girly.

Inside the male mind. Just where we always wanted to be. Right?


posted by Eli Moose on Tuesday, November 27, 2001

Hey, someone reviewed me, and it was f u n n y.
posted by Eli Moose on Sunday, November 25, 2001

33rd requested review is of darrenysos
Rating out of 10: 6

layout etc: (2: 1)
Very nice graphic in the middle of the index page.
Too much space is devoted to copyright on the bottom of the page though, can you just put something in your html and maybe a small type of it? We do not need to see all of that on the bottom of every (sigh) single (sigh) page (double sigh). I think we get the point.

On individual entry pages there are pleanty of cool graphics as well, but the page load time is longer than I like.
As for front:back links there are HUGE ones at the bottom of the entries, but none at the top.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
Comments to people he knows are reading his diary. This is confusing for those of us who aren't in the know.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
"where is the whore? the demonic, sardonic, prestidiginous, mendacious, arbirtaritionous,
pale excuse for a lifeform that is tori?
introspectively reviewing the women in my life is like staring down the barrel at the
worst poker hand in history. saturday night's abortive fiasco was obviously a fait
accomplii. i don't really mind, as long as i'm made aware of this weak joke."

I wonder what those women would say if they could read this?

"i also couldn't understand half the muffled nonsense that dribbled out of her mouth.
maybe the sound was faulty, or maybe, britain is now so americanized that now
all the characters in all british films are now played by americans? as if the
australian ex-soap opera starlet invasion wasn't annoying enough."

"scandal, intrigue, sex, fraud, self-destruction, they're all in there somewhere.
whether the dirty laundry is quite ready to be hung on the barbed wire washing
line of life, i'm not sure. i eventually emerge as some neitzschianesque hapless
romantic victim in it all, but so what? to regurgitate it, means perpetuating
it. perpetuating it, means blessing the zombie with even more life. some boxes
are better left unopened."

"another notify lister has swam away. maybe they'll drown."

Funny.

Unique: (2: 1)
Way cool graphics.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
Perhaps yes. I like his cynical writing style. It is sometimes endearing.
posted by Eli Moose on Sunday, November 25, 2001

32nd requested review is of Edge of the Season
Rating out of 10: 6

layout etc: (2: 1)
She may be queen of the tomatoes, but she's not queen of what colors go well together. Come on people, everyone knows that purple and red do not go together. I was told in an advertising class once that this is a definite no-no.
I have seen this diary before with a much better design, something blue and white. I think she should go back to that one.
Curiously too, it took a long time to load with each entry.

Her previous and next links are located at the bottom and side of each entry, yet hard to find on the side so be sure you pause for a moment on each square.

I like how she uses html though, I like how she has the links. When the mouse is on them, it pulls up the first letter of what they are for. Lots of neat tricks can be learned with mouseover javascripts. Yet, I don't like the fact that you have to search for them.

GRRR. Every timeI hit next at the bottom it seems like a broken link, that really needs to be fixed. Maybe I'm visiting it on a very bad day.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
She gets a one for cuteness, but the cute factor is over after the first few times she uses incomplete sentences.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 1)
"I flipped my hair into funtastic style, slapped on a disguise. Ate a really wonderful tomato and cheese panini. Drank quite a bit of fruity cider goodness until I was party girl. And then."

"I knew we were friends the day I stayed all night because I couldn't go anywhere else. Left my soap in your boy bathroom. And smelled it on you the next day. I wonder if you would be embarassed to know I saw your curiosity for girl-smelling things."

Unique: (2: 2)
She does a lot of unique things. She has a writing style all her own. And I've mentioned the way she uses mouseover things in her links, and her current layout is very functional even if it loads slow and is hard on the eyes. I think she is a brilliant diary designer from what I've seen now and in the past.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
I'd be interested to see what she does for her layout next. Something classy I'm sure.
posted by Eli Moose on Saturday, November 24, 2001

31st requested review is of This month's flavor of the week
Rating out of 10: 8

layout etc: (2: 2)
Very cute picture on the side!
I really like this diary! I haven't found one I liked that much in a long time. I mean the layout is not extraordinary or anything, but it looks very good upon first glance. And we know first impressions are everything. I have nothing bad to say! Wow!

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
Long paragraphs. I can't state enough that making them shorter will help out the reader.
The habit of saying "let's call him/her ____" right in the middle of a sentence is annoying. I'd rather she just use a fake name and not alert me to that fact. It's distracting.

Unique: (2: 1)
I like how she created a calendar thing for her archives. I want to know how she did that. I wonder if she would let me use it? I've not seen that on a blog before.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
"I felt like a knot inside of me had been undone. My appetite was still there, but it wasn't the pain to me as it had been. Thus began a six-month sexual odyssey that would expose to me all the dark things in my soul that I tried so desperately to hide. Who would have thought it all would have started with a school dance."

"Using as many buzz words as she could, she basically stated I made her uncomfortable. I counter pointed that I didn't make her feel uncomfortable before she learned about my sexuality. I didn't tell her about my persuasion sooner because I didn't think it mattered. I thought she was intelligent and open-minded so therefore my sexuality would be a non-issue. She grappled at words to justify her opinion. She couldn't quite do it and abruptly walked off."

I got so wrapped up in the first entry that I forgot I was reviewing it.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 2)
Oh yes, definitely. It's bookmarked. I was completely captivated. I've never read a more honest diary. She goes into a lot of explicit stuff though, so if you don't want to read about threesomes and other things of that nature, don't bother clicking the link. But if you find it fascinating like I do, go read it all. I highly recommend it.

give me a clix
posted by Eli Moose on Friday, November 23, 2001

30th requested review is of This is where I am
Rating out of 10: 6

layout ect: (2: 1)
The layout is not that great, but it's not that bad either.

I've not mentioned this before, but I don't really like the drop down link boxes. I think I never noticed I didn't like them until I saw this diary. She has 5 of them right in a row down the left column. Call me old fashioned, but I like the regular way of having the links right on the page.

Also, I don't like the way she has her archives centered and in italics. I'd rather read text that is aligned left or put in blockquote form if anything.

I applaud her for including pictures every now and then with her entries. It really does something for the look of a diary for there to be pics, and it gives it a more personal feel.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
"I hate doing this. Making small talk with my feet in stirrups, slipping off because of the silly pot-holders on the stirrups, wishing I could just leave my socks on, because I'd feel way less naked with socks, wondering if I should have shaved my legs, praying it doesn't hurt. (It always hurts.) Thank Whomever, the doctor who does my gyn exam (and most of my medical care) is one of the Two Decent Doctors I mentioned earlier."

What's with the capitals?

"Sometimes, I try to grow out my armpit hair, just to see what it would look like. I always give in when it gets to the itchy point, though."

Very funny.

"I'd like to write about sleeping in the woods and hearing dogs barking, people looking for me, being thirteen and in the woods for days, hoping I wasn't found. I'd like to write about that, but I don't even talk about that; I don't know if I can."

I'd like to see more entries like this one.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
Lots of parenthesis (just too many). Although I am in favor of them when using side thoughts. Although I noticed them in almost every single paragraph on the diary. How many side-thoughts can one have?

She is constantly plugging Judy, which is okay if she wants her readers to leave her site and go to Judy's. I do assume that readers can get lost at Judy's site and not come back. I'd suggest not putting links to Judy every time that something needs to be mentioned.

Long, long, long paragraphs are bad for the eyes. I need a breathing space or two, or three.

Unique: (2: 1)
She already had her link to me before I put her critique up! Now that is unique

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
If she were to let loose a little more of her past and tell the reader more of who she is on the inside, I think I'd consider bookmarking her. Call me a voyeur but I want to hear more about her bi-sexualty as well.



posted by Eli Moose on Thursday, November 22, 2001

29th unrequested review is of Girl in the Mirror
Rating out of 10: 3

layout etc: (2: 0)
Does any link on her page NOT open up a new window? Seriously someone needs to help her with her layout.

Why create something with lots of links to new windows for a diary? Better yet, why do that for any reason??

The actual diary is a livejournal, which isn't so bad, but it is littered with broken gifs to clix and other things.

Even her encrypted links like in the top left corner is a link to clix. This explains a lot why she's in the top 10.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
She can't seem to make up her mind if she wants to say I or i? Capitalization problems?
Dunno is the scariest word used, wanna is next in line; but sometimes I feel like my old english teachers who shuddered at the word aint.

Please always put a space between your pargraphs, it helps the eye.

Unique: (2: 1)
Although the way the site currently works is quite annoying, there are a lot of unique styles there. The little gif's she uses for her links look very cool. If she could figure out a way to incorporate her writing on the same page that would be nice. I've never told someone to sign-up with diaryland, but getting a site there and working on making a new layout that would work there may help her out of her layout problems.

Quotes from the diary:(2: 1)
"I feel empty inside.
I dunno if it's only today or I have been feeling like this for a while. I fild kind of sad, although I don't feel like I want to cry. I just feel there should be something else, but i dunno what.
Whenever I am out, at work or whatever, it's like I am living a complete lie. I look at people and I can't realte to any of them. I don't look inside, but only at what they show to me, and they really bore me. Everyone does. I feel like I need to life in a fantasy world.
I feel....I don't belong."

Where's more like this?

"I feel so angry with my self when I look at this." -- This was an entry with thisbeing her clix link. Trying to fool us?

"Went to Camden market, realised people still try to be trendy and dress like in the 70s. I left that train long ago. i think i am turning bitter.
We past a group of activists with flyiers on a table against animal experimanetation and i didn't even stop. I supposed i didn't want Kei to get fed up with me."

Would I go back for another read?(2: 0)
No, and here's why. The way it's set up right now bugs the shit out of me, plus her writing is not all that good. Her livejournal is scattered with some real journaling, and then begging for the reader to join some ring, help with some project, or clix her. If she wants my attention she needs to focus more on writing the diary. I thought that was what this thing was? When you advertise something on diarist.net, expect your audience to be looking for some substance. Ditch livejournal and start fresh I say.

posted by Eli Moose on Wednesday, November 21, 2001

I've been wanting to do some more unrequested reviews, but unfortunately I have a large queue of requests to go through right now. If you want to help me out, please enter my contest! Thanks.

28th requested review is of starryme
Rating out of 10: 5

layout etc. (2: 1)
Very basic black and white, with pleanty of room for your text of the diary. Bravo!
There are just a few problems I have with it: 1. The only previous next links are located at the side bar, and this doesn't help someone when they are at the end of your current entry.
2. The archives links open new windows. When I'm looking at paticular entries I'd much rather it open in the same window and then have easy navigation at the bottom (see # 1).

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
Sometimes capitalitizing and sometimes not. I particulary don't like people who refuse to capitalize, but what's even worse is not making up your mind.
Over use of ellipses. Not so uncommon, but I'm hoping to change that.
Another writer of extremely long paragraphs. My same advice goes out to this as well. Try splitting up the paragraphs by finding places to hit [enter]. It helps the reader out a lot, and lets your whole entry get read by them.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
"As far as people go: If God made them, I love them. And God made all people. You are a person. Therefore.... I love you. I love you, whomever you are. You cannot do anything to make me hate you. You may do things that disappoint God and that may be conveyed by those around you that love you, but anything i express is not meant as hate. many times the raw feelings i present represent me and my foolish desires."

Maybe a wee bit on the strange side, not that it's bad or anything.

"it just used to be so easy to be IN christ all the time... I would always have Heart and Soul to fly to when i felt the least bit empty or tired. I would go, I would find fellowship, I would find wise words, i would leave feeling challenged. I would leave feeling convicted and answered by God. God used those people and those words and those songs to speak to my heart, and my heart was truly blessed by it. My heart was truly filled like it has never been."

Straight from the heart.

Unique: (2: 1)
A few things struct me as unique. The encrypted messages that appear at the bottom of the screen. I've seen it on a few diaries, but not that many. It looks very clever. Also I like the link titles at the side: Leftovers (Previous), Fresh from the oven (Current),...on the grill (Next), All you can eat (Archive), and Send me a morsel (Email).

Would I go back for another read?: (2: 0)
It's really not for me. I'm not religious and she writes about God a lot. It's nothing personal, just something I don't relate to. If you have the same sort of interest, this diary is more suited for you than it is for me.

posted by Eli Moose on Sunday, November 18, 2001

I was looking at my large queue and decided to kick ass on several while I had a free moment, and the last few have been worth the time. Hope you enjoy them and vote for me.

27th requested review is of misadventures of BLONDEfox
Rating out of 10: 7

layout etc. (2: 1)
It's very basic, but good. I like the white background a lot actually, sometimes color bogs the reader down. The black and white picture is just enough to give it some style.
I long for previous:next links at the top.
Her biography details everything but how many fillings she has in her teeth. At least this is not littered on the main page.
I want more pictures of the author! Here's one I found in reading entries. She cuts off half her head and body though, which probably means she doesn't like the way she looks (but why I don't know). Ooooh, and another one!

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
Sometimes she does the dreaded *thing*.
Also sometimes she uses chat logs, when I think a recount of the conversation with some other method would be better.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
"I'm referring to sky's piece-o-shit car. it's an ancient, rusty studebaker that's spinning its last hubcap. a typical guy car, the stereo system was by far more expensive than the vehicle itself, and has a porno chick air freshener dangling over the dash. the bass in the trunk could rattle your teeth out of your own head. to add to my discomfort, sky's taste in music differs slightly from mine in the way that he only buys local underground rap records, and the occasional punk compilation."

Very descriptive writing.

"yesterday I weaseled my bad report card out of my mailbox in my very own top secret sting operation.
meanwhile, while my evil school had me convinced that I was in the clear, they sent a copy to my dad's p.o. box, too."

This made me laugh.

"even if only have date to say, "I came with ________.", and he spends the whole night leaning against the vending machine, at least you wouldn't have to deal with the question."

Did I mention she is descriptive and funny?

Unique: (2: 1)
She closes the entries with a signature, sometimes changing it like this: "Christina-the human ashtray." I like it. She also has some very clever diary titles.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 2)
Bookmarkable!
I like how most of her entires are short and to the point. Sometimes people can ramble on about nothing at all. Her writing isn't full of emotional angst, but it's good at keeping the interest of the reader. Lots of good stuff to offer!
She has a very obvious sense of humor that shines in her entries. It's interesting enough to make you forget about the little problems here and there.


posted by Eli Moose on Saturday, November 17, 2001

Side note: I've noticed a few others out there doing reviews now. It's become quite a booming thing I guess, but one in particular has tried to copy my blunt and honest style. I guess I shouldn't be so aggravated by unoriginality, and should be proud of getting the ball rolling. Also, I've started a contest looking for guest critics, click the little link above for information.

vote for me

posted by Eli Moose on Saturday, November 17, 2001

26th requested review is of Diary of a Slut
Rating out of 10: 7

layout etc. (2: 1)
I'm going to take off my normal hat of not liking disclaimers and say that this site needs the one it has. And it does it's job well. I love the way he introduces it with a quote.

"In ancient maps they often noted at places like this "...beyond here dragons be found..." That was generally just before you fell off the edge of the earth. Reading on here could affect you similarly."

I don't really like the masked man picture (although it does evoke anonymity), being the only graphic on the site. I'm not even sure if it's an actual photo of the author or someone else. The picture located on his staff bio at Janes Guide is exactly the same though, so who knows?

The colors are nice, although you can probably already see that I like browns and reds.

There are no previous: next links at the top, but he does have his archive link right above the entries.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
There are occasional misspellings of words on purpose (like nite) which on a whole are not that bothersome since they aren't littered through the entire diary.
At the end of every entry he writes some form of "life is good." It is probably his standard end line, but it gets old for me fast.

Unique: (2: 1)
There's nothing really unique about the layout, but I find it unique the way he writes bravely about his sexual interests and includes personal information (like where he works and his full name) Very brave.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
"When I came out of the back room one of the DMs told me that they hadn't wanted to interrupt me, but that Kevin had been asking for me. I ran around to the other back room, where he and Chloe had been playing, but I got there just in time to see them kicking back wrapped in blankets and in kind of a glazed over afterglow. As described in Kev's words, it must have been a wonderful network of rope and beauty. I helped Chloe walk over to sit down and join Annika, Dragon Lady, Viktor and a few other friends and she started pushing some serious chocolate."

Makes you wonder what his house looks like.

"Please make note of the date - November 4th, 2000. It's the date that I walk into the Wet Spot and a tall beautiful brunette comes up to me and shakes my hand, saying "Hi, Peter... I'm Susie Bright. I've been looking forward to meeting you." Note that the normally verbose and composed Peter did indeed start stuttering."

Not all about sex.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 2)
Well of course, it's a kinky sex diary and it can be fun to read about what other people are doing. Yet, I think it's missing something. It almost reads like a point by point manuscript. I'd rather it had more personal feel to it. I can't put my finger on it really, but I think the author isn't revealing all his personal feelings about what he is doing. Being completely new to almost everything he talks about, (The Wet Spot, sex toys, Dungeon Monitor etc.) I'd like more detailed descriptions of what these places and things are.


vote for me


posted by Eli Moose on Saturday, November 17, 2001

25th requested review is of ATXIX
Rating out of 10: 7

layout etc. (2: 1)
It's simple, and easy to navigate.

Black with blue text and the link and vlink settings are colorful enough to brighten it up, and yet keep it easy on the eyes. I'm a true black background fan. My very first ever diary looked a little like this.
Even though I like that it's basic, and not too showy, a top margin picture would be nice. Something that goes all the way across the top. A simple table with one of the colors used in the diary and the title would do. I suggest looking at freefoto.com for pictures if you want to use a gif.

Everyone knows I'm a huge fan of some basic navigation links to help out the reader. I found your previous and next links on the left side. I understand why most people don't place them on the top and bottom, because if they are big they can get distracting. If you placed a small (< >) at the top and bottom corners it wouldn't be too distracting and still serve its purpose. Just a thought.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
She writes really long paragraphs. It's not ungrammatical, and it's not that annoying, but it is for me. See the eye get's tired of seeing one line directly after another for too long, and it eventually skips, and misses good stuff. The secret to this is finding thought breaks, and making smaller paragraphs. You don't have to change the material, just add some space. It will help your reader finish the entry.

Occasional ellipses, though not that bad. And often times *these* appear. Don't do that.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
"'Stupid comes to mind.' He said, and I half-expected him to smile and laugh, because he'll make a punch and then smile and laugh and it'll mean that he didn't really mean it. No smile, no laugh, no hand up for a high-five. Just this serious, angry look on his face. I wanted to scream, I wanted to tell him that he was being a coward by trying to get at my mother by saying that to me, and that he was an old fart, but no. I ate my toast, cleaned everything up, and went upstairs to make the bed and fold my clothes (which took about all of four minutes)."

"We got there and I felt so weird walking through a college in my tight sweats with my dad. I felt like I should have had a dayglo green beehive hairdo and a flashing light on my ass that said "wide load". I'd have felt more comfortable that way. We got in the gym and my dad swiped his card through. The lady asked me for my student ID and I didn't have it (because I don't go there) so she asked me to write my name down and put my student ID number on there. I froze like a newborn fawn staring at the business end of a pair of chevy headlights."

Funny and honest at the same time.

Unique: (2: 1)
Clever navigating link names: Full speed ahead (next), backpedal (previous), stay (current), and the stacks (archives).

Would I go back for another read? (2: 2)
I enjoyed my time there. I would like to go back and see how her site grows and changes. I really liked how honest she was, and that her writing features a lot more than what she did that day. I also like how she provides mini-critiques of diaries she has looked at. A diary critic at heart like me! Awww.
posted by Eli Moose on Saturday, November 17, 2001

24th requested review is of Jazlan
Rating out of 10: 5

layout etc. (2: 1)
Very eye appealing. I really like how the use of color. I don't like how the text of the diary is squashed into a small frame box. I seriously don't like the way you use this frame because the point of a diary is the text and it's not been given the amount of space it needs.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
She not only abuses ellipses (...), but she feels the need to double her periods as well!
Can someone (anyone?) tell me why people are so afraid to end their sentences (thoughts)?

Quotes from the diary: (2: 1)
"Even that kid. That scary guy who is probably going to pull a school shooting or something, because he reminds me of that type of person? He's like the most anti-social kid I've ever seen. No social skills whatsoever, but he comes up to me now when he has a question in class or doesn't know who someone is when he's passing out papers. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but I'm happy that he's finally talking to someone! (without sounding like he's about to shoot them)"

"My cousin attempted suicide last Monday. I found out Friday.. he was here because he is having troubles with his Bi-Polar disorder.. his medication is screwed up and he's homeless, so my mom has been trying to help him. He's lost everything since he had a mental breakdown last year.. his house, his car, his job.. his family. He's in really bad shape, and is in the hospital right now. He took half of his bottle of medicine but it didn't work.. thankfully. I've never been very close to him, but I've been around him more than I have some of my other family.. and sat for his kids... it really makes you think when someone in your family tries something like that. When he told us about it, I didn't really react. I didn't know how to react... but when I thought about it later I broke down crying, because he is someone that I would really miss. A lot of my family, I honestly wouldn't.. but him.. I couldn't handle that."

"I'm starting to wonder if some people actually see me as a friend, and if the others are just "Yeah, Jazlan is nice," and that's about it, because I'm feeling a bit unloved, here. Sure, I hang out with them. Yeah. But we never talk - I don't know a hell of a lot about a lot of them."

Unique: (2: 2)
The links (made with javascript) open a new smaller window. These are cool. Her links include a picture page and a very long biography.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 0)
I can't say I would. I want to remind my readers that this section is highly subjective and just because I am not interested in the diary doesn't mean it's not worth checking out for yourself. Free writing advice for anyone that chooses to take it: Everyone has dull moments. Don't record those. If you are having a day where you don't know what to write about, and you start your entry with that same line, it's probably best that you don't write that day. Become better at putting your feelings into words. Write about your reactions to your days events, not just your days events. Story board. Write it in pen first. Be honest.



posted by Eli Moose on Saturday, November 17, 2001

Fan mail: (all names have been left off to protect the innocent)

"i was just writing to say that i appreciate your critiques. i think there are approximately five million terrible journals out there, but maybe just as many that are good, but overlooked. i think you can help shed light on both those categories."

"i just wanted to say good job and keep it up and all those other kind of inspirational nothings."

"I love reading your critiques, and so far I've agreed with all of them. Especially the next::prev thing! That's always been a pet peeve of mine. "

"I just wanted to tell you that I really liked your website. I hope that you continue on with it."

"I feel compelled to write you every once in a while for some reason. Probably because I like your site more and more each day. Maybe I'll start whoring your clix link somewhere on my diary."

"I just felt this overwhelming need to thank you for doing what you're doing. I'm guessing that you've seen a bit of backlash (just because everyone is so hyper-defensive about some of those dairies). Thought I'd throw a little praise your way (for what it's worth). So thank you for pointing out how pompous those people at the "original" diary critic are. And no, you are not alone in getting annoyed with people who write "cuz" instead of "because". It probably is anal but it makes my skin crawl. Keep doing what you're doing - you're doing it well! "

"I enjoy reading your diarist review site. Keep up the good work."

"I love your reviews. And no, that's not kissass bullshit, I really do. Whether you decide to read my diary and trash it or not, the compliment stands."






posted by Eli Moose on Thursday, November 15, 2001

A side note: Later today I may get around to adding a few things to the site. Like a detailed explanation of the things I'm looking at when I critique diaries so it helps the receiver of the points understand the process of evaluation I use more. Also, I'm still thinking of adding a rules of submission page, except the rules will not be hard or broad. Thanks to everyone for your grammatical help. Ta.
posted by Eli Moose on Thursday, November 15, 2001

23rd requested review is of onehanded
Rating out of 10: 5

layout etc. (2: 2)
This layout is nice. The grey doesn't make it too dark since the font color is brighter (although just a tad) and evens it out. Good choices. I like the previous:next links at the bottom, as well as the top left-hand side bar, BUT you really need to fix the navigation of where those links go, at least previous works. Next takes you to the most current, not specifically next in the series on the most recent entries.
Although I don't understand the picture used to illustrate the title, it is interesting.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 0)
Problems stem from lack of ability to emphasize properly.
I don't know if this is on purpose, but to emphasize words she often just capitalizes them. Call me bitchy, but capitalization is not meant to be for emphasis. The dash is overused (--), as well as ellipses. I think people are just afraid to end a sentence. Trust me it's okay to have a 2 word sentence. Like this: "he hasn't." It would read better.
*This* is not a means to emphasize either, unless you are chatting on AOL?

She calls his boyfriend "the boy?" It took me a while to figure out that "the boy" wasn't a child. Using the word boy has become popular amongst teen-aged girls when referring to cute ones, but this is just too much for me to take.

Begging for people to sign your guestbook more than once on any given page is frankly pathetic.

Updating more than say 3 times a day can get on the nerves as well.

Unique: (2: 1)
I looked. Nothing I can see.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 1)
"But he really fucked me up, in some ways. I tend to be more like him -- well, on one side of the brain anyway -- than my mom. I keep my feelings to myself. I keep stuff inside. I will turn things off rather than deal with them. He and I are both card-carrying members of the Ignore It And It Will Go Away party. Then again, he's nearly terminally shy, and I am certainly not. He doesn't want to deal with stuff, and neither do I, but I will face the shit eventually -- he hasn't. "

More than what she ate for lunch like some others do. That's good.

"It makes me feel as if I have deserted my Feminist roots. Because I am a feminist, goddammit. I may love my Boy, but that does not in any way prevent me from disliking most of the Male Race (sorry any boys out there, though it seems there aren't many, reading me anyway)."

"Survival in this world requires a certain amount of withholdal. Probably not *quite* as much as I've managed to develop, but certainly some. As I've mentioned before, I'm a macho motherfucker. I do my sentiments in private, thank you. the Boy sees some of it. But when I get mad, I get very, very quiet. Like bad quiet. And extremely sarcastic. Though I'm getting better about that after many talking-tos from Boy. Even at my most biting, however, I was always holding my tongue, preventing myself from saying those thigns I knew would just cut too, too deep."

Lots of content. Almost too much for me.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
It's not really my cup of tea, but it's not bad either. That's all, not much else to say.
posted by Eli Moose on Wednesday, November 14, 2001

I was mentioned here: http://arbitrary.diaryland.com/reviews.html Cool.
posted by Eli Moose on Wednesday, November 14, 2001

On a side note. I often tick off those that I review that haven't requested it, and now I'm ticking off those that do request it as well. If you have sent me submissions, please remember that I am going to use the same measure of your diary that I would of any other one. Be prepared to be surprised or even upset by the results. I found that "just another perfect day" was extremely unhappy with her review. She did request the review, although you wouldn't be able to tell from her entry about it.
posted by Eli Moose on Tuesday, November 13, 2001

22nd requested review is of epistles from cubetown
Rating out ot 10: 7

layout etc. (2: 1)
It defies the norm that's for sure. I like the visual presentation of it.
[additional text: I see the archives (yes archives is the right word. Go the to the library and ask for their archives? Anyway, seems the author has her links hidden in her design. Clever? Yes, but functional for the reader? No.]
There are front and back links located at the bottom of each entry and this is all. It seems to navigate well that way, except what if I want to go and see how far back this thing goes?
I don't really like the way people are using frames these days. Apparently the frame on this one comes and goes. It works much better without it. Trust me.
I understand they are catching on almost as bad as the ellipses virus among diarists. I think this one is just not needed. There are no links to it, there is no valid reason to have a frame with a scroll bar in the middle of the page. I don't think people understand the pain of using the mouse to just scroll down a wee little bit to read an otherwise small entry when if the frame wasn't there they could just use their up down arrows.
I really like the picture though, it goes well with the content.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 2)
Amazingly enough, I haven't found any.

Unique: (2: 1)
I think the diary itself is unique to most I've seen. I like how it is short random thoughts that chronicle one particular part of her life.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
"I have a huge 'crush' on this random trainer man at the office. Only because he looks just like all those boys would look if they were all grown up (and mysteriously ten years older than they should be). Really, he's very cute in that dorky way."

"I was sitting in a meeting in the conference room that always makes me sneeze. Surprisingly enough, my nose started to run. Drip. Drip. I waited for it to stop. It didn't. I waited until we were past the part of the meeting when I could easily have gotten up and gone to the bathroom to blow my nose. Finally, I shyly wiped my nose on my sweater sleeve and thought of Japan. And how maybe I really am the fat Ayurveda type, even if my hair is fine and docile and I'm always cold. I'm always getting into the slowest checkout line at the grocery store."

I think we've all had these kinds of thoughts in our own special ways.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 2)
Absolutely! I really like that this diary has a theme. It serves it's purpose as the daily thoughts of someone who feels trapped at their office. If you've ever felt similar about your office space this would be a funny read. You may find yourself smiling and wanting to laugh out loud.

vote for me
posted by Eli Moose on Tuesday, November 13, 2001

From the guestbook: "2) why do you so often choose teenagers' diaries to review? Of all the diaries I read on here, it's the adult ones that are most interesting. Most of the kids' stuff is a waste of time. Keep up the good work. It's unique, refreshing, and honest. Love ya, Lisa"
Well Lisa, I review a lot of the diaries because they were submitted, or because they are in the diarist.net top ten. I think it's ironic that sometimes more than half of the top ten diaries are this bad. I will get around to doing more adult diaries though. Keep reading, I'm sure you will be pleased. Thanks for your support.

vote for me

posted by Eli Moose on Monday, November 12, 2001

21st requested review is of "just another perfect day"
Rating out of 10: 1

layout etc. (2: 1)
The layout's colors do not blend well. They hurt my eyes. It gets a one for trying. Perhaps too hard?

This person doesn't have her past:future link at the bottom (imagine that!) and they should, because it SUCKS to not be able to navigate through the entries easily. Think about that when you are looking at a diary with good navigation, and remember to use it on your own.

I wish people would learn how frames look best. It doesn't look good to have your text squashed up against some scroll-bar. You don't need this frame on the diary anyway. It's pointless and annoying. I hate having to use my mouse to read an entry when there's so much space not being used in the window.
The text is aligned to the left? Arrgh!

Annoying writing habits:(2: 0)
I feel like a broken record. But please don't end every sentence with Ellipses. Pretty please? Grammar anyone? Geez? Typos everywhere.

Unique:(2: 0)
Nope.

Quotes from the diary:(2: 0)
"FLAMALET [2:28 AM]: hah
TweckieChic2002 [2:28 AM]: what?
TweckieChic2002 [2:28 AM]: whats so damn funny?
TweckieChic2002 [2:28 AM]: c'mon step up
TweckieChic2002 [2:28 AM]: lol
FLAMALET [2:30 AM]: What, you wanna a piece of me? You can't handle thi shit right here!
TweckieChic2002 [2:30 AM]: wanna bet? c'mon sexpot, i can handle you
FLAMALET [2:31 AM]: Shorty, don't even try!
FLAMALET [2:32 AM]: And how much of me and what I got do you think you can handle?
TweckieChic2002 [2:32 AM]: all of it sexpot
TweckieChic2002 [2:32 AM]: lmao, what the hell are we doing?
FLAMALET [2:33 AM]: lol. i have no fucking clue!
TweckieChic2002 [2:33 AM]: neither do i
TweckieChic2002 [2:33 AM]: lol, we both must be really fucking boring"

Most of the time I don't like seeing peoples chat logs, and especially when they are stupid and have no meaning.

"i'm glad my aunt let my cousin come over... you know the cousin from minnesota... yea that one... she came over and we went trick-or-treating..."

Ellipses are not your friend.

"did i mention that i have gaven up on clix, clix me if you want, i don't care anymore. geez, most of the people cheat, so whats the point of even doing it?"

This is just too funny.

"i wore an orange tank top with two signs pinned to the front that said "kiss me i'm not greek" and "i hate my ex"... i wasn't supposed to have the ex thing on there but then i was kind of pissed that brian couldn't come over so i made that sign as well... all i did was write on cloth with a sharpie and used safety pins to pin it to my shirt... then i put my hair up in messy pigtails, sprayed glitter in my hair, and wore my light up devil horns... and as for my make-up i was this light green eyeliner, mascara, glitter, and lipgloss... i wore jeans and this old roxy jacket i have... it was a simple but very cute outfit... i might sound conceited while saying this, but i know i looked cute last night... and that's something i never say about myself..."

Why am I doing this again? Someone shoot me.


Would I go back for another read? (2: 0)
Would you?

vote for me

posted by Eli Moose on Monday, November 12, 2001

Sorry there's been no critique as of yet today; I've been busy with my layout. Hope you like it. There will be a critique up later today I'm sure! Keep checking back. Thanks for all of your fan mail and submissions. I'm going to be one busy woman.
posted by Eli Moose on Monday, November 12, 2001

If you read me and love me, why not clix me?
posted by Eli Moose on Saturday, November 10, 2001

New guestbook for those of you that want to tell me how much you hate/love me without sending email. Oh and if you are trying to send me email, please remember to take out REMOVE from the link, otherwise it will bounce back. Ta.
posted by Eli Moose on Friday, November 09, 2001

I've noticed the submissions have slowed down. If you have already sent me a submission that's probably good news for you! Thanks to all of you that keep supporting this site.

20th requested review is of Cry Me a Digital River
Rating out of 10: 7

layout etc: (2: 2)
Pink and blue wouldn't be my first choice, but she makes them work well because she uses white as her background for most of her text. I really like wide textual spaces. We're talking journals here, so I'm with the thinking that their journal should be the main priority on the page. Within her layout she has a lot to offer. Including several biography-like pages and pictures.
Kudos for good navigation! (Nobody liked the way I spelled it)

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
She uses the phrase "_________ much?" quite a lot, but not to the point of annoying me all that much.

Unique: (2: 1)
A small collection of mini-bios that tells us more about individual parts of her life. This includes the low-down on her current realtionship status and a travel log. Very cool.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 1)
"But every time I get on a plane, I am on some level prepared to die. I am ready for the flight to drop into the drink or careen off the runway in a ball of fire. Life has to work very hard to catch me unawares. Breast lumps, dodgy cervical cells, burglars on my staircase, lost plane engines, murdered boyfriends... none of it has really surprised me."
"Frightened me, yes; devastated me, yes; surprised me, no."

"I cannot begin to describe to you the feeling of cold dread that swept over me. But we all know from yesterday's entry that I don't usually panic. Without pause, I was calculating what had been lost, where copies might be, and how to put it back together again. I was emailing dear Richard, who built this journal script, to ask about data recovery. I was copying the entries I still had on my screen from the last time I looked at this page. I was bargaining with God, reminding her which three entries it was really going to kill me to lose, and hoping to somehow get at least those few back. I was on the phone with Mike, finding out when we had last backed the server up."

A girl who loves her journal.

"The goal is 10 or 12 shots, approximately half of which are beefcake and half of which are full frontal nudes. I am looking for the shots with good composition, true color, and no dust. Sometimes the whole set is a doddle and images just need resizing; other days, like today, there's a lot more work. The problem is that even when carefully cropped, it's very hard to render more innocent photos for the beefcake gallery from what is actually pornography."

An interesting job, worth reading about.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 2)
Well I'm very busy at the moment wading through all the crap being spread about me and my site through various channels, but I'd have to give this one 2 stars for reading value and give it another go. Her archives aren't that big because she just began writing, so I would say it's worth your time to see what kind of progress she makes. I liked her writing style, it's very easy to read and get into. Keep your eye on this one!





posted by Eli Moose on Friday, November 09, 2001

I know it's unusual for there to be 2 critiques of diaries I like right in a row, but this was an accident!
19th unrequested review is of kuinileti
Rating out of 10: 7

layout etc: (2: 1)
The layout is clean, uncluttered, and the colors work well together. I really like how the background color changes on each page, and it's subtle enough not to take away from the look of it. The links at the side although cute really would be better if they were text. Perhaps the pictures of the leaves could still be there as well? I'm not sure, but I like textual links better than little gifs you have to investigate.

A small suggestion would be to include another graphic that remains on the page at the top to fill it a bit of space.
There are some broken links in the older entries, but I figured out why after figuring out who soup was.
Yay for you and your <> links at the top and the bottom. Bless your little heart!

Annoying writing habits: (2: 1)
I'm happy to say that although she sometimes goes crazy with Ellipses, she doesn't over do it like most.
Hardly any bad habits.

Unique: (2: 1)
Although not overly unique, I like how BIG her text area is, and how the last 5 entries fit across the bottom in a line rather than a list. It's space saving and looks nice.
I also like how there are several pictures floating around in her entries. It's not over-done with lots of graphics but has the occasional surprise.
Putting time of day in her archives by the title of the day's entries is unique and cool.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
"It was there, at the copy machine, that I felt a little twang of... loss. I have no idea what has happened to him — he has dropped all contact, suddenly and without warning. It's funny because just as his silence was beginning (rather, what would become his silence, since I didn't realize at the time how long it would last), I woke up on a Friday morning and thought, 'That's rain I hear, pattering on the roof. It's early but I have to get up. I know I am not infatuated any more. I love him purely, as my sweetest and dearest friend, but I can feel that the two-year crush is gone.'"

Clever way of making the reader read all the way to the end of the entry.

"Being snapped at by someone I had thought was nice. Feeling stupid. The cough, the sore throat, and the upper-respiratory party. Feeling sick. An entire evening devoted to a best friend, her kitchen-full of food, a dozen krispie kreme donuts, and a bottle of ipecac. Feeling worried. A cryptically-sweet, sentimental letter from the love of my life, but then no requiting in sight. Feeling stupid. Again. Feeling lonely. Again. Feeling anxious. As usual."

Chock-full of descriptive words.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 2)
I'd like to spend more time reading more closely. I enjoyed her writing style. I think she could use the suspense technique a lot more than she does. Another good read!
posted by Eli Moose on Friday, November 09, 2001

I have removed my pop-up windows because I don't want my controversy to be over where I stand on clix. I'd much prever it be over how honestly I critique. Frankly I don't care about clix, except it gives me a venue where lots of journalists are. I will keep reviewing the garbage, and the occasional good diary I see there. I hope that you keep coming back to read them. Ta.
posted by Eli Moose on Thursday, November 08, 2001

18th requested review is of Glossed
Rating out of 10: 8

layout etc: (2: 1)
On first glance I like it. I am partial to the colors she uses (black, blue, and white). I like the lyrics from the Jewel song she uses in the top right-hand corner. I like that she uses tables. There are one or two things I don't like though. One is there is nothing in the middle. It looks bare and empty. Either make the text of the diary table bigger, or put something in there. Also (is anyone listening?) previous:next links at the top as well would really help.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 2)
I didn't find any. No over usage of Ellipses thank goodness. No over usage of words like cuz or dudes.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 2)
"I'm stuck in the middle of two completely different worlds. I'm not quite right for either..and both are important to me. I always miss someone, I'm always out of touch with someone else, and I wonder if sometime soon everything will fall apart at the seams."

She communicates her feelings very well.

I know I'm unattractive. I know I should lose some weight. I know you think I'm a social misfit because I stay home on most Friday nights and I don't have a boyfriend to show off. I know you think that my personal value would skyrocket if I wasn't, if I did, and if I had. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm undesirable and alone.

Very honest writing.

Unique: (2: 1)
Lyrics that double as journal titles. But, only people that know the songs would know that.
She has her guestbook small enough to fit on her main page. I like it.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 2)
Absolutely. I've finally found a teenager's diary that I like. As I read her entries I am anticipating the outcome. I think that's the way a diary should read. She's not flighty or predictable. I highly recommend this one.

Comment on this or other material at: Backwash.com




posted by Eli Moose on Thursday, November 08, 2001

My sincere thanks to Ms. angelica for pointing out that I had a typo on my last entry. She is right. It's spelled riveting. Now maybe she can go write something interesting.
posted by Eli Moose on Thursday, November 08, 2001

17th Review is of a.n.g.e.l.i.c.a
Rating out of 10: 1

layout etc: (2: 1)
I was duped into thinking there was going to be something special about the layout from this girl's clix banner. It has a catchy theme from a catchy song. Nothing more. What will happen when this song leaves the mainstream? I use to like theme layouts on diaries, but I don't really anymore. I think that if you want to make your diary look unique you should put personal pictures on it. Ones you've taken or some of you. Not some stranger in Gap clothes that looks like he's going fishing. I keep mentioning this, but only because I feel I must. Previous:next. Top:bottom. Get it? Please do it.

Annoying writing habits?: (2: 0)
How old is this person? Where is the content? Isn't this a diary??
Do people really say "dudes" these days?
Although the archives contain the same Ellipses problems that others seem to have, the newer entries aren't that bad. But if you count that the newer ones are only about a paragraph long, then you can see why. Is there some kind of Ellipses disease going around that I'm not aware of?

Quotes from the diary: (2: 0)
"I don't want to stop writing here, and I won't. But I'm going to open myself a locked diary somewhere where I can talk about ... everything ... without worrying about school people reading it."

Well she's not writing anything at all in this one.

"I keep typing "eastised" ... I have to go back and correct myself every time. Making a typo there was sort of like indulging in 60 zillion candy bars ... Oh, wait, I've done that already"

Very riveting material.

"I'm so ... worried. About so many things. (Eve, thanks for listening to me ...) I just ... I just don't wanna fail my year. I mean, OK, I probably won't. But it's freaking me out."

cough.

"I don't want to leave. But fuck it, my words deserve more than a template"

a-hem.

Unique: (2: 0)
No. Nada. Nil. Zilch. Zero.
Some of you people honestly make it too easy for me to critique your sites. Especially when there's nothing there.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 0)
It doesn't give me great pleasure to shoot down these diaries. It really doesn't. I am actually in search of good ones. That's how this whole thing got started, but there are so few good ones out there that it's comical. I'm beginning to think that having a diary is just the cool thing to do, and that nobody really writes them for reasons that would make them good. Or they overwrite stupid entries complaining about html when maybe if they limited the amount of times they updated what the reader would find would actually be something interesting. Here's hoping. And I keep looking. If you are in my mindset just AVOID this one period.

Comment on this or other material at: Backwash.com


posted by Eli Moose on Wednesday, November 07, 2001

Unfortunately kiddos I don't have any new critiques to put up for you just yet. Tomorrow I promise. While you wait for them why don't you share my site with a friend? Or better yet just vote for me.
I have had the pleasure of being recommended by someone at backwash.com. So now I am adding the link located at the left for those of you that want to go to their message boards and discuss my material there. Check me out I'm famous: Just Your Average Metachick!
posted by Eli Moose on Tuesday, November 06, 2001

Public Service Announcement: (or excuse me while I RANT)
You know people are saying that I give higher scores to those that request critiques and overall that is just not true. I just happen to like a few of the diaries that get requested. You'll also probably notice that those I like don't end up in the top ten at diarist.net (yet they're much better diaries by FAR than most of the top ten period, which is quite IRONIC if you ask me. If you don't like your score or your comments, tough shit. I say what I think. Never anywhere do I claim to have the majority opinion on anything. Stop whining, it is so not appealing. And I'm glad someone finally noticed that my site gives publicity! And that means you should link me back because I get a lot of fucking hits.
posted by Eli Moose on Monday, November 05, 2001

Thanks to all my fans. I appreciate the compliments via email and all of your submissions. I'm working on some rules of submission that are not finished yet. So anything submitted before the rules appear will be put in queue.

16th unrequested review is of The wrong story
Rating out of 10: 4

layout etc: (2: 1)
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but having an index page which leads to an introduction page, which has a link to the journal is a bit much for a site that is only an online journal. I mean it's not like it's that complicated of a site to need all of that stuff.
In navigating through the archives I found some broken next links. Not that bad, it happens to everyone. It's just my job to point out the nit picky shit.
For those of you that want to use frames, this one works.
Does nobody but me see the point of previous next links at the top and the bottom of diaries?

Annoying writing habits (2: 1)
If you count constantly talking about things I find of no interest annoying.

Unique: (2: 1)
This guy put his resume on his diary. Do you think he gives out the web address to hopeful employers? I doubt it. He's just tooting his own horn.

Quotes from the diary: (2: 1)
"I know I'll have to deal with all of this later, but right now, I just want to run away from it all. I run from conflict. That's how I cope. I know it's not the healthiest of options, but it's my way. Perhaps this is the end of my short friendship with Marc. Perhaps next week we'll just pretend it never happened. Perhaps we'll work through it and become wonderful friends. I don't know. But for now, he's not someone I want to deal with. I need time to sleep and heal from this night from hell I just went through. "

The night of hell consisted of one of the author's friends being rude when he found about one of the author's crushes. That was hell?

"Upon leaving the store and trudging through the drizzle toward the subway I realized that I was going to have to cut pictures to make them fit in the frames. The frames are circles and are the eyes of the glasses for those of you who aren't freaky Harry Potter fans who obsess like me. I hate cutting pictures. I'm fine if it's just a trim down the side or something...but cutting off over half of the picture and changing the shape of it to a circle basically means the picture will never leave that frame. It won't fit in any other frames if I ever take it out. It's just so....permanant"

Oh the horror!

Would I go back for another read? (2: 0)
There's nothing about this diary that grabs my attention. I'm not a Harry Potter fan nor am I all that interested in The Never Ending Story even though I've seen it. If you are interested in a grown man constantly talking about his "crushes" and the constant dribble that is his mundane day to day life this is for you. I just wish people who write diaries would talk about what's going on inside their heads more than the constant, "I ate this for dinner today.." crap. You'd think an actor would be a good diarist. Wouldn't you?

posted by Eli Moose on Sunday, November 04, 2001

side note: I'm so over diarist.net. In a world where diaries like Shifty Mold are in the top ten you have to know that something's just not right there...

15th requested review is of Relish of http://mochapixie.diaryland.com (I wasn't sure if Relish was the name of the diary or not.
Rating out of 10: 4

layout etc: (2: 1)
I like the title with definitions. I just don't like the picture. I think a hotdog with lots of relish gooing over the top of it would be better. But, that's just me.
All diaries should have a previous:next links at the top and the bottom. Why do you ask? Because if the reader finishes one entry, then goes and looks in another window before clicking previous, they have to scroll all the way back down to the bottom when they go to do so the next time. So throw a dog a bone and put links at the top and the bottom. It helps. It's convenient, it's 2 little links.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 0)
Why do people who write diaries online feel the need to over punctuate. Ellipses are our friend, please don't abuse them.
Sometimes a simple sentence needs to end with a period.
Think about this. Periods make stronger statements.
Don't try to look suave by trying get away from using a period.
"You've turned me into a comma," the dash cries. Maybe if you kept your English grammar book you could do a review on comma's. Hey I don't care if you misuse a comma or two, but what's with the strange (-) all over the place? There was one entry (say hello, wave goodbye oct 28) with a total of 7 dashes, and some paragraphs had 2 each. Do I need to say anymore?
Oh and by the way, October 28 was my favorite entry. Try it without the dashes and see how it reads?

Quote from the diary: (2: 1)
"Apparently I was exactly as drunk as I thought I was when I met him. Throughout the entire evening he would ask me questions that were obviously related to things that I had discussed the week before (it actually became a bit of a problem... I generally avoid looking like an ass because no one else remembers anything from these evenings either. Not him though. Memory like an elephant.) The trick to that is that I have no recollection of any of those conversations - Ireland, women's studies, my old apartment... Not unusual things to discuss, but an unusually attentive individual with whom to discuss them."

Why do I feel the need to hang out in the middle on this one? The writing is good, but it's not the best. It's not all about punctuation either. I know what you're thinking.

Unique: (2: 1)
Italical interjections of quotes, personal or otherwise. I like it. I don't even know if italical is a word. Yet it sounds cool.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
There's something here. I spent a lot of time searching for it. It's better than your average run of the mill diaryland diary that's for sure. There's something the writer is holding back. Something on the surface hinting at what's inside. I think if she were to unlock her desire to show the reader a particular "face" of who she is she would unlock her true identity. That sounds like I'm reading too much into it, but that's what I was thinking. Tell us more about why you date so many guys, instead of entries about the dates. Get what I mean? And I liked it. I did.
posted by Eli Moose on Friday, November 02, 2001

Someone want to tell me why I have over 100 out clicks and 22 in clicks? Do people really cheat?
posted by Eli Moose on Thursday, November 01, 2001

14th requested critique is of Pixie huggles and Elephant kisses
Rating out of 10: 4
Lay-out etc: (2: 1 )
Well it would be nice if there was some form of consistency. I know that with blogs you can reformat your old entries to match the current template you want to use. Why don't you find something you like and try to stick to it? Although I give it a 1 in the name of creativity.

Annoying writing habits: (2: 0)
An uncountable amount of typos in the current entry? This is not a good first impression.
There are too many to count actually. Run on sentences, bad punctuation, typos. It's literally covered in them. I'm sure she has something to say, something to share hidden in there somewhere. Or is this a part of who she is? In any case please use spell check.

Unique: (2: 1)
Definition page along with the cast. Unique and needed.

Quote from the diary: (2: 1)
"My mom is leaving. My dad is gone too. Don't know where they went or if they're coming back. It happened at dinner. My dad got chicken nuggets for my mom, yogurt for me, and Mexican for him and my brother. My mom said something about wanting a burger, my dad said he got her what she asked for. SHe asked my brother for some of his food because "she didn't know Mexican was an option". Then they started to argue about who said what, my dad was like "that is BULLSHIT" (just so you know, he never cusses *at* my mom), and she's like "no, you're a LIAR" and they exchanged a few more explicitives until my mom was just like "i don't want to talk you...don't talk to me i'll just ignore you...why don't you just leave?" and my dad was like "no, why don't you just leave?", and she was like "fine, i will". so...she packed up her laptop, her school stuff, clothes, hair stuff, toothbrush, all that, and left. My dad left too."

There is one thing I can say about this diary. It bleeds with honesty. Regardless of the presentation, she has a lot of guts to say what she says.

Would I go back for another read? (2: 1)
Maybe.
One doesn't have to be a writer to write.
Sometimes when you are a writer you only want to read what other writers write.
When I finally got myself to get past the errors and the style of writing, I read and I felt bad. I see a lot of pain. It's hard to read a diary and not picture the person's life, and sometimes feel what that must be like. Putting my critic's hat aside I want to say keep writing, and I hope it helps.





posted by Eli Moose on Thursday, November 01, 2001